Don’t think about it… just let it go.

Replacing anxiety with clarity

My mantra when I get stuck obsessing about something, usually a past mistake, a stupid statement, a sad occurrence, disturbing thoughts that just keep coming, is

Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash

So simple, but it took me a long time to embrace.

It’s a useful trick to abate those swirling thoughts that just keep coming. Like— “what if I’d…?” “If only I’d…” “How could I? Why didn’t I….?” And especially “Who was that person? ME?” The regrets. The choices that might have been made differently.

The thoughts can range from just annoying, like the time when I lost that pearl earring down the drain, or to deeply embarrassing, like the time I brashly stated an opinion in the middle of a board meeting and everyone just looked at me, then went on as if nothing had happened. [Cringe.]

Or to cluelessly insensitive, like the time when I did not tip a taxi driver in Puerto Rico who went above and beyond and out of his way to get me someplace. (I’ll never get over that one. How crass, how rude, how thankless…what was I thinking??)

Or when I impatiently spoke some harsh words to a darling babysitter thirty years ago, who was just trying to do the right thing for my two-year-old. I was the one who was misbehaving. (She was a great babysitter, and never came back.)

How about when the guy in the huge black pickup truck with an American flag waving on one side and the Confederate flag on the other comes up behind me on the highway and gets way too close for comfort, pushing me out of the way so he can speed past with a roar? Instead of fuming and swearing, I sigh and tell myself “Don’t think about it. Just let it go. ( although not before I say under my breath “f*&$#ing idiot asshole.”)

Or the times that were indeed dark, like when depression engulfed me and it looked like Leaving the Planet would be a good thing for me, and everybody else. Back then I hadn’t yet discovered “don’t think about it - just let it go.”

Also— things that are happening that I have no control over and make me livid or terrified or horrified. Things that send me into despair, darkness, grief, anxiety. Like the frightening things happening daily now in our country, things that are beyond belief and defy common sense. Cruel and unjust and dangerous things that I personally can do nothing about. And every day it gets worse, as we know.

I can only do so much- throw money at causes to effect change, try to protest in my own way by supporting those who are braving and standing up to the new billionaire bro autocracy. Instead of wringing my hands and spiraling into despair over what I cannot do, I must breathe and tell myself “Don’t think about it. Just let it go.”

Don’t think about it. Just let it go, and breathe. Be present. Walk with intention. Look at what’s around you. Pay attention, with objectivity. Replace anxiety with clarity and compassion, for yourself, and others.

Even the idiot assholes. (Tall order, I know.)

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Do you have a personal mantra that shows up in your head? How are you handling the shitshow that has become our daily “entertainment?” Let me know in the comments…

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