"Write about your relationship to your hands...."

An essay in response to a prompt from Melissa Febos in "The Book of Alchemy"

If you haven’t seen my recent posts about this project, take a look at my last post, or this one and this one.

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My 100 Day Summer Project with Suleika Jaouad’s The Book of Alchemy is flowing along like a journey I am navigating on a beautiful unknown river. There are inspiring prompts, challenging prompts, uncomfortable prompts, and scary ones. Some I welcome, others I want to avoid. With each new essay I read, and the prompt it offers, I wonder what will be coming up around the next bend—smooth, calm waters? Rocks and rapids? A waterfall?

This one I loved. It’s the prompt from the essay “Ode to an Outcast Part” in chapter 6, “On the Body”, p.169, by writer Melissa Febos.

Here’s the prompt:

“Write about your relationship with your hands. How have you thought of them, used them or even abused them over the years? What about now?”

my hardworking old hands

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I am an artist. And a musician. I began studying classical piano at age four, and quickly learned how to manipulate my fingers and use my hands— how to place them on the keys, fingers slightly curved and strong, but relaxed. I practiced religiously (thanks to the strict support of my mom.) I also picked up crayons and pencils early, then paintbrushes, and became immersed in my innate desire to create, to self-express.

All throughout childhood, my hands became more important the older I got. Between practicing piano seriously, and guitar and mandolin in my teen years, and a lifetime of drawing and painting and writing, I would say my hands have been my best friends all my life.

I kind of took them for granted, though, as can happen with best friends sometimes.

In my late ‘50’s, my hands started becoming problematic, and at first I got annoyed with them. Then I realized they needed my love and care, and I ended up having carpal tunnel surgery on both of them, plus some trigger-finger release surgery.

Now, in my early ‘70’s, they’re once again pleading for attention— fingers are going numb, the pins and needles thing. It’s ulnar nerve damage, and I’m going in for cubital tunnel release surgery on my left elbow at the end of the summer— a long healing process will ensue. I won’t be using that arm for weeks. (I should start practicing one-handed typing.)

I love my best-friend hands, and I do worry about them. They are my lifeline to my creative self.

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What about you? Have you had hand surgery? Are you reading The Book of Alchemy, or are you ready to? Are you inspired by my 100 day summer journaling project with it? Let me know in the comments….

Thanks for reading— it’s more appreciated than you know. Clicking on the 💜 means the world to me, sharing or restacking this post is even better, and leaving me a comment would make my day!